What do I do, if he didn’t buy me Anything for Valentine’s, My Birthday or Christmas?
Be weary of men who pick fights with you or seem distant around the Holidays or your birthday. A man who is blatantly ignoring you on these days doesn’t like you and/or he’s a Fuck Boy. This is a clear indicator that he is using you to fulfill his needs. He see’s you as an object or a tool for his benefit. This is why you shouldn’t engage in situationships or date men long term who don’t have a sense of responsibility for you.
Men who have a sense of responsibility for you, will provide for you. If he’s your man it would be expected that he would get you gifts for your birthday and holidays. But when you engage in non committal relationships with men it gives them the license to do what they want.
However, there are some women who are in relationships and marriages with men who won’t treat them special on these days either. These men do not like those women and are in relationships and marriages where they are building on the backs of those women while they save or provide for the women they really want.
On the other hand, there are some men who will buy you gifts for these days but they are absent. If so, they have a wife, another girlfriend or multiple girlfriends and they will spend this day with their main girl.
Shamefully, in my past I let a man that I was dating get away with not gifting me anything for Valentine’s. He did have a verifiable out of town travel day for work for Valentine’s, but that didn’t excuse him from calling a florist to send me flowers in time or arrange a gift/flowers ahead of time. This man didn’t think I was worthy of even a single rose from a street vendor. I was hurt, disappointed, and angry for a while. Yet, like a dummy, after taking some space, I still continued talking to him. Truth is, I needed to work on my self-love and my self-worth. Because there is no way I should’ve accepted some bullshit like that. But that’s how unresolved trauma shows up. I needed to heal my self so I could stop settling from scraps.
Ghosting
At any rate, disappearing (ghosting) is a primary tactic of fuck boys. They will disappear and try to come back like nothing happened (on and off). At any time, if you settle for less or allow a man to slide without giving you gifts or intentionally spending time with you, it will not get better. A man will never treat you better than what you initially accept. If you accept not receiving flowers, he won’t suddenly start buying them later. So if you allow him back into your life, you’ve established that there aren't any standards. He now knows he can treat you however he wants. In doing so, you’ve handed yourself over as his personal doormat. In 2026, most women know better! Immediately block and walk away from any man who moves in this matter.
Make Him Pay! (Where the Dollars At!)
If you’re in a situation where you aren’t strong enough to walk away or decide to give him another chance…Always make your anger expensive! If a man disappears and tries to come back into your life, request a costly gift from him or a considerable amount of cash before you start conversing with him again.
If he pays the price, this will let you know he’s serious about getting another chance to waste your time. Even so, you can never take this man seriously because he’s shown you who he is and he may disappear again. Don’t consider this man boyfriend or husband material, turn him into a trick who doesn’t receive any further intimacy access.
So remember, establish your standards and make no exceptions, no matter how much you like him or have grown attached to him.
- Your Birthday is non negotiable
- Valentine’s day is non negotiable
- Christmas gifts are non negotiable
Need more help establishing your worth, standards and healing from trauma, grab your copy of The Black Woman’s Step-by-Step Guided Book and Workbook for Healing Trauma, avoiding F*ck Boys, Attracting the Love You Deserve and The Life You Desire
