Why most Black Men don't want Black Women to have Standards
Every human being models themselves after someone—whether it’s a parent, a family member, a random person, or for many people we have been programmed to model after “made up role models.” The entertainment and advertisement industry from the beginning of its inception has crafted the beauty standards, products to buy and the people to model after. Not all, but a majority of black men were raised without a positive male role model or father in the home. So, who do black men model after? Rappers and the archetypes delivered to us in film and television. What are the messages of how black women were treated? The images that were served to the black community that would affect the fathers of the generations of men that we see today was the pimp from the Blaxploitation films, in the early 1970’s. These pimps were glorified superheroes who objectified and mishandled women. This message was reinforced by the creation of real-life pimps, who later became hood famous and further popularized by rap artists such as; Too Short, NWA, and rappers on all coasts. Both the auditory and the visual senses of the male and female were being programmed simultaneously with misogynistic messages and stimuli that both genders accepted, conformed, followed, and submitted to.
Music, being a free public forum, rapidly spread this message of degradation of black women to the masses. Meanwhile, these male rap influencers are promoting toxicity while they are either openly or secretly married.
So the agenda is to continue to program and promote modern day versions of “Bitches ain't shit but hoes and Tricks,” with “These hoes ain't Loyal, etc.,” and the female rappers with their version of niggas ain't shit.
And what do you give a Bitch or a Hoe? Nothing!
What does a Bitch or a Hoe deserve? Nothing!
Men think standards are only for top tier "beautiful women!"
Our men have been trained not to respect us, cherish us or value us. They mostly objectify and lust after women and expect women to give their energy, time and bodies for free 99. And sadly, women have followed suit being under these same misogynistic programming patriarchal messages.
Most black men don’t want to take you out on a traditional date, won’t automatically bring you flowers or a thoughtful gift, and aren’t chivalrous enough to open your car door. If they know you need help with a problem you’re talking about, they won’t be gentlemanly enough to offer assistance, and they won’t be generous enough to send you money—even if you ask directly. Some men will purposely vanish around holidays or think it’s okay not to buy you a gift for your birthday, Christmas or a gift and flowers on Valentine’s day--and still except to stay in your life. These men don’t want black women to have nothing but dick. And sadly, we have accepted this foolishness.
In this modern day Information Age with the help of female content creators and women receiving good treatment, princess treatment and being spoiled by men. Rightfully so, other women realize that they deserve this love too.
Women have the power to control the dating standards, relationship standards and marriage standards. We have allowed men to trick us into thinking differently. If all women would refuse low effort from men-men wouldn’t have any choice but to step it up.
In present day, women are lowering the dating standards by accepting coffee dates, drink dates and walks in the park. Men have established these dates as audition dates to see if you’re even worthy to spend money on a traditional dinner date. This should be unacceptable to you! If you accept low effort in the beginning, don’t try to raise the standards thereafter. You may get a few dinner dates but a man’s peak interest is highest in the first 2-4 weeks. (Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.)
If you want to receive dates at nice restaurants, flowers, chivalry and financial investments—you have to require it or date men who have provider mindsets who are generous.
If you’re engaging with a man who has a mindset of bitches ain’t shit and he watched his mother struggle and be mistreated by men—he is going to do what he was shown. Yes, there are some men who watched their mother struggle and grew up without a positive model who has a growth mindset and doesn’t mind providing. But the rest of these fools want you to struggle for love—and maybe one day after you do really good in the struggle olympics, he’ll buy you flowers as a reward.
Some men have a terrible mindset towards women, and on top of that, some simply can’t afford to date. If a man is only making 45K a year and living on his own, providing for himself. There’s no way that he can afford to consistently date you, buy you weekly flowers, get your nails done, pay a few bills and a set of tires (or whatever else you need or want.) He just doesn’t have it! A man with a lower income cannot afford to meet your standards, if they’re high. If this is the case you’re setting yourself up for failure not him. Love alone doesn’t sustain relationships, especially for women. Even though we love hard, understanding and nurturing a man must be resourceful and provide. Please close the book on the fairytale and step into reality and decide your standards, what’s most important to you and choose a man based on that criteria. By doing this you can save your time from waisting it on a man without a provider mindset, misogynistic views or has twisted role reversal ideals.
Most (not all)
- Black men don’t have healthy masculine role models, fathers and have fallen victim to the patriarchy, misogynistic programming.
- Watch their mothers Struggle, therefore you must struggle.
- They have a mother wound and secretly hate their mothers for various reasons (and the black women they date must pay for what she’s “done” to him.
- They don’t have it, hide the fact they don’t have it, and manipulate you to feel like it’s wrong to desire it.
- In present day, men still listen to music—and now podcasts by micro-influencers—who they model themselves after. These influencers tell them they’re simps for providing and teach a reversal of the feminine and masculine roles.
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With this ideal programming of a so-called “beauty standard” many black men don’t think most black women fit into this ideal. Unfortunately, black men don’t think black women with ethnic black features, etc. are attractive or pretty enough to have high standards. Only women who meet the “beauty standard” of models,” have Eurocentric features, exotic, Latina, mix-raced or racially ambiguous women can receive fine dining, flowers, gifts, money and trips.
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