When seeking a man, our number one request is often for a God-fearing man, aside from his physical appearance. Newsflash, ladies: Attractiveness is not a man's number one attribute globally! Yes, there are attractive, handsome men, but they are a rarity. And if he is attractive, does his character match his looks? Is he also God-fearing?
Yes, there are men who are God-fearing, six feet tall, handsome, wealthy, and possess good character—but he must choose you among all the women who would desire him.
Women have been sold the idea that men with movie-star looks are the norm, but that’s simply not true. Most men are average in the looks department—it’s not a diss, just a fact. So when we see fine men in real life, it’s like seeing a Pot of Gold! Otherwise why not choose one of the few guys that actually attend the single ministry meet ups regularly? It's because most women don't find those men that actually are involved and active in church attractive or desirable.
What women would consider a God-fearing man is someone who goes to church regularly, is grounded in the word, has a personal relationship with God, and lives a life that reflects that relationship. This means not engaging in behaviors like running hoes, cheating, lying, manipulating, stringing women along, using drugs or drinking excessively, abandoning their children they helped to create or being mentally, physically, or verbally abusive. Essentially, a God-fearing man lives in a way that truly reflects the teachings of Christianity.
By definition, God Fearing people are:
- People who try to obey the rules of their religion and to live in a way that is considered morally right.
- People who go to church every Sunday and who obeys the teachings of the Lord. (Assuming they aren’t working on Sunday)
- The “discipline” or “instruction” of wisdom, a sovereign respect for God, and makes us dread, above all things, to offend Him.
Over the years, after speaking with a large group of men and conducting years of research, I’ve come to the realization that men often do not view God, Christianity, and religion the same way women do. The majority of men prioritize their pleasure and the lifestyles they’ve been accustomed to since childhood above all else—even if they identify as "Christian" or "God-fearing."
Boys and men are often raised with different expectations than girls. From childhood through adolescence and adulthood, boys' lives are frequently centered around pleasure and play. This includes behaviors like masturbation, pornography, and the encouragement to have sex at a young age—often with as many women as possible, particularly in the Black culture. In this context, neither God nor the church seem to hinder the pursuit of pleasure and play. We've seen this pattern throughout history, and it’s often the reason why many relationships and marriages end. Men will seek to fulfill their desires by any means necessary, and being God-fearing doesn't necessarily prevent this behavior. Men will put themselves and what they want above God, a relationship and even a marriage! Nothing will come in between a man and what he wants! Sorry ladies! God isn't stopping the pursuit of the p*ssy!
This mindset of prioritizing pleasure and play won't magically disappear just because a man claims to be God-fearing, a Christian, or someone who occasionally attends church. The evidence of this is visible in local churches: the congregations are predominantly women, and the singles ministries are filled with women. So, the question remains: Where are all the God-fearing men?
If you spend years watching porn, being promiscuous, abusing substances, and remaining noncommittal, these are all reflections of a lifestyle largely focused on pleasure. Meanwhile, women are attending church, being active in their communities, reading their Bibles, and praying that God will send them a good man—or that a God-fearing man will find them.
Look back at your dating history or past relationships—would you consider any of those men God-fearing, or do they only become "God-fearing" after 65 or when they need a prayer and a nurse? And if you did date any God-fearing men, do you feel like you were the reason the relationship didn’t result in marriage?
I wrote a lot about God fearing men and the impact of religion on the Black Woman in;
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