Access Granted or Denied?
Have you ever went to a baby shower and didn’t bring a gift to the expectant mother? If you did—because you ran out of time or couldn’t afford it at the moment—you probably carried that guilt with you until you were able to send a gift later. The same sentiment applies if you show up to a housewarming party empty-handed. Once you become an adult, you realize maybe you should at least bring some drinks to the family that’s hosting Thanksgiving dinner. But somehow, when it comes to women, access to a woman and her body has been normalized by men as something that should be given away for free. Men even shame women who require dates, gifts, or financial support in exchange for that access—labeling them as prostitutes, “304s,” or claiming it's a transactional relationship. News flash: all relationships are transactional. No one goes to work without expecting to be paid, receive breaks, benefits, or perks. The same is true in relationships. Women have been guilted and manipulated by men into giving access to our bodies—not even for love anymore—but simply because men want it. Our culture perpetuates these messages heavily in movies and music. Sex on the first date in movies/tv, songs all about..Let me hit that, give me that, I just want to fuck… We hear and see these messages—both men and women—day in and day out, and begin to think they’re normal. But when women have standards and require more than a few dinner dates and some Netflix, men go into an uproar. But it’s not their choice! Women set the standards…Or they once did and we are bringing things back to their natural order. Men must put in work like they used to back in the day in order to have access to you!
No man should have access to your body for free, for low effort, or for doing the bare minimum. I remember a time a friend of mine asked me to borrow $100 and she had a boyfriend that she was sleeping with—yet she asked me for $100. I told her I didn’t have it at the time, even though I did, but I had enough couth not to tell her the truth. It’s mind boggling that women are sleeping with men and they’re struggling to pay their bills.
Women are lying with men and they can’t even rely on them for $100 to make ends meet is sad. Women can’t call on men for a flat tire, rent, groceries, nails, shopping-nothing at all- outside of a weekly date night (if that for some.) I’ve known women who alternate paying for dates, paying for tips, paying half for their birthday dinners and baecations. Men soak up their electricity, groceries on a regular, live with them, use their car and more. If you’re thinking it’s not a man’s responsibility to pay your bills- you’re right, but- if you’re giving him access to your temple, it’s a problem. You’re perpetuating misogyny, patriarchy and violating the laws of reciprocation and confused to why you are drained. It has nothing to do with dealing with a narcissist or a F Boy just a violation of the Universal Law.
Men always follow their money. A man spending a few hundred dollars or basic household bills is nothing in comparison to men who can drop ten of thousands on a woman they love in one single day. Yes, there are levels to everything but in the grand scheme of things if you can’t get at least a stack from a man a month at a time- what are you doing? A man should be heavily invested in you.
If you can’t even get a commitment from that man and giving him access-he’s just using you for his benefit. If so, you are like free monthly government cheese and food stamps to that man-and he’s not going to let you go until you wise up and cut him off. On the other hand, if you do get a commitment from him- what are your benefits that you are receiving from him? To claim that you have a man and a weekly date night? You must require an offering for your temple in excess of food my dear. We have all been dummies before and accepted crumbs but it’s past time for the collective of women to wake up and realize who we are. Again, men desire, lust, kill, steal, dress, buy cars, jewelry, betray their friends and their sheer existence is to impress and be with women. You just have to find the one(s) willing to impress you.
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