In my last post, I wrote about women making their lives more pleasurable. In my book, The Black Woman’s Step-by-Step Guided Book and Workbook for Healing Trauma, avoiding F*ck Boys, Attracting the Love You Deserve and The Life You Desire https://www.amazon.com/Workbook-Healing-avoiding-Attracting-Deserve/dp/B0D2LN9Q3H/ I wrote all about how men have been living pleasurable lives since they were boys. While a good majority of black women are focused on Christianity, church and finding a God Fearing Man. Ladies, we have been duped by the idea that this God fearing Boaz archetype Christian man exists.
I watch a popular dating show, and most of the women still looking for love are over 40. Their number one request is a God-fearing man. Meanwhile, many men (still single and in their 30s, 40s, and beyond) in the comments ask, 'What were these women doing in their 20s, during the prime of their lives?'
Granted, the early 20s might be a bit young for marriage, but I’m starting to understand the men’s perspective. What was I—and so many other Black women—doing during the prime of our lives? We were pursuing multiple degrees, climbing the career ladder, and waiting on Boaz. Meanwhile, our male counterparts have been indulging in pleasure since they were boys.
Even if a man considers himself a Christian, let’s be honest—Jesus isn’t stopping him from 'getting his freak on.'
Men have been engaging in masturbation, porn, sex and playing sports and having a variety of fun since they were boys and this continues until they are ready to settle down. Some men don’t settle down until they are 70 or looking for their hospice wife.
Here is an expert from my book further explaining how men operate:
Heterosexual men enjoy the company of women in some capacity. For men, it doesn’t matter if they are healthy, dysfunctional, or focusing on their career goals. They still want a woman occupying space even if it's for the night, weekends only, short-term, for months or years. Even if it’s not a woman, most men aren’t home doing the things that women tend to do. Men will find something or someone to occupy their time outside of work. They will spend time with their family, friends, frequent bars, the gym, dating sites or other social spots engaging with people. In addition to all of that, they have about 9 out of 12 months of multiple sport games to watch that occupy a good percentage of their time. Men are fully committed to enjoying their lives as they did when they were boys. Men are not “rest-ers” and nesters like women. Women can go long periods at home finding something to do in the confines of their home. Women can be content talking to friends, going out occasionally, and doing girly things that take time like (hair, make-up, tutorials, some type of craft, digital blogs, studying in general or towards a new degree, etc.). Men like to move, go, be spontaneous, seek adventure, and use their hands. Men cannot be stagnant or bored. Even if he’s preoccupied using his hands on a joystick, he is stimulated by the action of imagining that it’s really him in that animated unconquerable war zone. Otherwise, most men rest and settle in their last quarter of life.
Always remember to make your life pleasurable. Don’t wait until Jesus’s return to live your life or religion keep you in a chokehold. This doesn’t mean to start wilding out and living a life without morals but live and do exactly what you want to do in every stage of your life.
